Never Meant To Be
by Samantha114
Summary: "She couldn't live with the fact that their love was never meant to be. She couldn't live knowing that no matter what she changed about herself, Ciel wouldn't want her. The worst part was that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't be mad at Ciel or Sebastian. The only hatred she felt was for herself..." Rated M for character death and implied yaoi lemons; you have been warned.


**A/N: Hi there everyone! Here's another SebaCiel story, but it's a little different. Tell me what you think! Character death and implied yaoi smut ahead! You have been warned! **

**DISCLAIMER: I always forget to put this thing, but honestly, if it's on , chances are I'm not making money off of this…but for all the readers who have a stick up their ass and need to be told the blatantly obvious, SAMANTHA114 DOES NOT OWN KUROSHITSUJI OR IT'S CHARACTERS AND IS IN ****NO**** WAY MAKING MONEY OFF OF THIS! **

"Ahh Sebastian!"

Ciel's scream woke Elizabeth from her sleep. She had stayed the night at the Phantomhive manor when a storm prevented her from going home the day before. She sat up and listened intently to insure that what she'd heard had not been a dream.

After a few moments, she heard another loud moan; assuming that it was out of pain or distress, she got out of bed to investigate. She lit the candle that had been placed by her bed and, with soft footsteps, made her way to Ciel's bed chambers.

She stopped in front of his not quite closed door and listened.

"Ngh Sebastian! Harder!" She heard him scream, "Sebastian, I'm going to—ahh!"

Her eyes went wide. Her betrothed…and his _male _butler engaging in such illicit acts? The thought made her angrier than she'd ever been! What if Sebastian was taking advantage of Ciel? She was about to make her presence known to them and put a stop to what she thought was a one sided sexual encounter and save Ciel, until she heard something that made her stop in her tracks.

"I love you Sebastian," She heard Ciel say. She peeked in and saw him snuggled against Sebastian on the bed.

"I love you to, Ciel," The butler said back. He leaned down and kissed him sweetly.

Tears pooled in her eyes. It wasn't one sided. This wasn't an act of lust; it was an act of love. She thought about what would happen in 2 years after they were to marry. Would they simply stop this affair or would their trysts continue? The tears rolled down her cheeks as she considered that last thought, but kept silent and continued to listen to them when she started to hear more talking.

"I remember when I couldn't feel even the slightest shred of happiness," Ciel started, "But being in love with you has made me happier than I've ever been,"

Sebastian kissed the top of his head. "You've made me happy when I didn't even know someone like me could feel happiness." He said.

She felt her heart break with Ciel's words. Ever since he returned to the manor, happiness is the only thing she's ever wanted him to feel. He's always so gloomy and depressed; she thought that maybe she could be the one to bring the old Ciel back; the one that was always smiling and laughing. Hearing him say those words to Sebastian just affirmed what she's always known but never wanted to admit to herself; the old Ciel that she was able to make happy was gone and was never coming back.

All of the old feelings of inadequacy and depression that she thought she had gotten rid of years ago started coming up to the surface. She couldn't live knowing that she wasn't the one that could be with Ciel. She couldn't live with the fact that their love was never meant to be. She couldn't live knowing that no matter what she changed about herself, Ciel wouldn't want her. The worst part was that no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't be mad at Ciel or Sebastian. The only hatred she felt was for herself.

After what felt like an eternity to her, she left. With a river of tears pouring down her face, she went back to her room. Setting the candle on the desk, she took out some paper and a pen. She dipped the pen in the ink well and began to write.

_**Ciel,**_

_**I saw you and Sebastian together. I am not mad because I know that you love him and that he makes you happy like I'll never be able to. I always suspected that you didn't love me the way I loved you and that's okay. I'm sorry it had to end like this; I'm sorry I had to end like this. Please don't blame yourself for this. I've been hurting for a very long time; nothing you could have said would've changed my fate. To keep your secret safe, don't tell my family about the note. I want you and Sebastian to be only ones to read this. My last wish is that you live a long and happy life with the one you love. I love you Ciel. Always have, always will. Goodbye.**_

_**-Lizzie **_

She put note in the pocket of her nightgown and walked to the third floor. Silently, she opened the door to the room that faced the garden where the window led down to the pavement was. She opened the wide bay window and stood on the ledge of it, her back facing the open air. Her eyes fluttered shut as she fell back. She didn't utter a sound as she plummeted to her death; she just smiled. She landed head first on the pavement, dying instantly. A puddle of crimson leaked from underneath her lifeless body.

***Back in Ciel's room—Just as Lizzie fell***

Ciel heard a loud noise from outside. "Did you hear that?" He asked Sebastian.

"I'll go look; stay here." He said. He got up and got dressed, leaving the room soon after. After Ciel was sure that he wouldn't be detected, he got up and started following Sebastian. Eventually he caught up with him by the back door and saw Lizzie's body. He froze.

"Sebastian, who did this?" Ciel cried frantically after he was able to speak.

"I found a note in her pocket; she committed suicide. It seems she's found out about us, but that's not what led her to do this. Here," He said. He handed Ciel the note and he read it. Tears came to his eyes and he ran to Sebastian, hugging onto him tightly as the tears fell. Sebastian held onto him as he cried.

"I'm so sorry, Ciel," Sebastian said. He felt like it was somewhat his fault; if only he would've heard her, he could've prevented this. He could've prevented the death of Ciel's last family member. If Sebastian wouldn't have fallen in love with Ciel…if they weren't in a relationship...she might still be alive. What if Ciel blamed him? With a heavy heart, he knelt down to Ciel's level and prepared himself to say the hardest thing he's ever had to. "Ciel, I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore because of this…" Sebastian said. It hurt him to say that; to give up the only thing that's ever made him happy in his long existence.

"No. I won't. Lizzie wanted me to be happy and the only way I can be happy is if I'm with you," He said. Sebastian let out a sigh of relief. He pulled Ciel into a passionate embrace, burying his head into the boy's shoulder. "Thank you," Sebastian whispered.

Ciel returned his hug, his hands knotting in Sebastian's hair. He felt pain, yes, but he knew that with Sebastian by his side and Lizzie's blessing, they would get through it.

**A/N: Sorry for all of you Lizzie lovers out there…um, this is usually the part where I say 'I hope you enjoyed the story' but I don't think that 'enjoyed' is the right word for this, so if you didn't hate the story, it'd be great if you left me a review! **


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